Want a fresh perspective on parenting? Read OUr #1 recommended book
Have you ever wondered how your parenting can shape your child's emotional well-being?
We all want our kids to be capable and resilient, but there are so many different opinions on how to make that happen.
As a licensed therapist with training in childhood development and family dynamics, I always find myself returning to the same resource when parents come to me with challenging experiences- Good Inside by Dr. Becky Kennedy.
Good Inside offers a wealth of insights into child development and practical strategies for fostering emotional resilience in your child. This book will help you better understand yourself and your child, regardless of their age.
I highly recommend you dive into it fully to gain all that it has to offer, but I wanted to provide a few takeaways for all of the busy parents out there.
Key Takeaways from Good Inside
The Power of Connection: Dr. Kennedy emphasizes the importance of a strong parent-child connection. When children feel safe, seen, and understood, they are more likely to develop healthy emotional regulation skills. They are also more likely to listen to direction once you have connected with them first.
Empathy Over Punishment: Rather than resorting to punishment, Dr. Kennedy suggests focusing on empathy. By understanding your child's feelings and validating their experiences, you can help them develop emotional intelligence. She explains why punishment doesn’t work long term, and what you can do instead that will teach your child what you want them to learn. Focusing on empathy also normalizes their experience, making it easier for them to allow and handle “negative” emotions.
Mindfulness and Self-Awareness: Teaching your child mindfulness techniques can help them become more aware of their emotions and develop healthy coping mechanisms.
The Importance of Play: Play is essential for child development. It allows children to explore their emotions, develop social skills, and learn problem-solving strategies. The brain learns faster through play than other forms of teaching.
How Good Inside Can Transform Your Parenting
By applying the principles outlined in Good Inside, you can create a nurturing environment that fosters your child's emotional well-being. Your child will become more resilient and able to grow into their independence. Dr. Becky offers solutions for common parenting challenges (aggression, lying, tantrums, picky eaters, etc.). Here are some practical ways to implement strategies from the book:
Spend Quality Time Together: Engage in activities that you both enjoy, such as reading, playing games, or going for walks. Dr. Becky discusses “PNP” time which can be dedicating a short amount of time where you won’t have your phone nearby and you will allow your child to lead the play.
Listen Actively: Pay attention to your child's words and emotions. Validate their feelings and show that you understand their perspective before rushing into an agenda.
Set Boundaries with Compassion: Establish clear expectations while remaining empathetic and understanding. She discusses using the phrase “You wish...” even if you have to say no to something. (ex: You really wish you could go outside right now even though we can’t.)
Practice Mindfulness Together: Introduce mindfulness techniques, such as deep breathing and meditation, into your daily routine. Modeling is extremely important. Often times you have to show before you instruct. (ex: “Mommy is really overwhelmed right now and needs a break. Let me try to pause and breathe for a minute.”)
Encourage Healthy Play: Provide opportunities for your child to play freely and explore their creativity.
Good Inside offers a refreshing approach to parenting that focuses on building strong relationships and nurturing emotional resilience. It pushes back against those who feel that you have to be tough on your kids in order to teach. Rather, it shows you how teaching your kid to be confident, respectful, resilient individuals has much more to do with slowing down and building a strong relationship that balances boundaries and flexibility.
By implementing these strategies, you can help your child develop the skills they need to thrive in life. If you’d like support on your parenting journey, reach out to us here.
Kennedy, R. (2022). Good inside: A guide to becoming the parent you want to be. Harper Wave.
